I’m sure over the past week, you too, have been inundated with the updates from everyone’s lives on what was an incredible journey for all over the past twelve months.
In a sense, the highlight reel of all of the great things that have happened. I’ve loved seeing what everyone has done. I’m lucky to know all of these adventurous people, writers, photographers and creators. It’s an honor to be able to follow everyone and see the best things that have happened to them.
But I also can’t help to think about how challenging this year has felt. For me personally, and maybe even a little bit the world around us right now.
Comparison is something I all too often can’t help but do.
This year, I’m happy to leave 2017 behind.
We’ve constantly been embroiled in the process of updating visas. For an international couple, it’s been painstaking, expensive and a little tiresome. This has been a constant presence in and out of our lives for the past few years. This year included much of that again. The results of course, were great. I was granted an extension on my visa and in two and a half years, I can apply for dual citizenship. There’s an end to the saga in sight. But it feels far away, and I genuinely wish it could be easier.
I left a career that didn’t feel quite right for me anymore. It was a fairly large step – albeit a good one – and I’m still trying to find my footing as to what my life means as a freelancer. Ironically, writing has never felt more difficult. My spirit, my drive and my passion has been slowly evaporating from my bones these last few months.
I haven’t felt like ‘me’ this year. I can’t exactly put my finger on it. It’s an odd feeling, and one that I know will pass.
While I’ve been writing this, obviously, I’ve been a little hung up on this overwhelming feeling of ‘meh’ about the year. But there have also been some amazing moments too. I saw my cousin marry the love of her life this summer. We went back to New York City several times throughout the year. I went on my first ever girls trip to Ibiza. Joe and I visited Portugal (a place I’d never been before). I went to Disneyland Paris, finally! I made new friends, and got much closer to old ones.
The year actually hasn’t let me down as much as I’d thought. There’s been genuine good. Happiness. Adventures. Love. And maybe sometimes we let ourselves get wrapped up in the negative, when we don’t need to.
So maybe, just maybe… I too, need to focus on my very own highlight reel.