Life with a filter, why are we so afraid to show the ‘real us’?

Life is messy… and so are we.

Or maybe it’s just the overflowing contents of my bedroom that makes me the actual messy one.

Lately I’ve been thinking about how filtered our lives have become. Everyone shows their highlight reel on the internet. It’s the full length feature film, not the outtakes. And yes, we can be ‘real’ and down to earth with how we caption ourselves, or moan about our days on Instagram stories, but do we ever truly let ourselves slip up online?

No, I don’t think so. Because it’s become a pretty edited life we’re all leading.

For a majority of us what we show online: our hair is shiny, skin mostly impeccable and clothes looking good. We’re skinnier than ever (because angles!), our homes are well styled and we’re all top chefs. We spend our time out at the best new places. With equally shiny people.

(Outfit details: Jacket Urban Outfitters (Urban Renewal collection) , Cardigan Zara £39.99 , Dress ASOS £18, Boots M&S £49.50)

The reality sits more along the lines of: I wake up late daily, somehow drag myself to a workout class, come home and scroll on Instagram for a solid half hour, announce that I’m actually going to do work. Only to find myself several hours later in the middle of a Gilmore Girls binge on Netflix. Hair: messy/not dried properly/awkward curls. Clothing choice: the same sweatpants I’ve been wearing for three weeks without washing. Home: One tiny corner that looks on point with the other 90% of the flat looking like it’s about to become some sort of hazmat zone. I know, how do you like me now?

But my question is, why are we scared that others will see us the way we actually are? Or maybe you’re not. Maybe I’m the one that’s scared for people to see the ‘real me’. Everyone who knows me in real life sees who I am (lucky you guys). Online me however, is another story. It’s a little bit filtered. It’s photos with my best angles, my hair without any brassy tones whatsoever. And the me I want to show. 

And that’s OK! It’s totally OK to be your filtered aspirational self online. But what’s not OK? Comparing yourself to other filtered selves. That’s where I sometimes get stuck.

And I think I’m trying to get better in 2018 about it. About writing more blog posts when I’m feeling a bit ‘meh’ about blogging, or life, London, whatever. I’m sharing a little more about what my ‘normal everyday’ looks like. I’m getting better about trying to stop comparing myself to people who are in the middle of their book, when I’m working on my second chapter.

And mostly about feeling better when I don’t feel quite like that aspirational image that I want to be. Because it’s OK to be a total sloth person and binge on Netflix and pizza without it looking like an Instagram or blogger’s paradise and for it to look a bit more like, well, real life.

Kelly xoxo